Neighbourly love- keeping the peace

There is nothing more exciting than buying your dream home and envisaging many happy years ahead - but few of us factor in the neighbours when we select our forever home and for some this can turn out to be problematic - or even a nightmare.

So says Yael Geffen, CEO of Lew Geffen Sotheby's International Realty adding that once you have made the move you are stuck with your neighbours so it's worth taking the time to do a little homework.

"If you are considering moving to a new neighbourhood and are concerned about the prospect of neighbourly disturbances, there are a few things you can do to get a good idea of your prospective neighbours.

"It's not fool proof, of course, but it will definitely give you a good idea of who you will be living near for the foreseeable future."

• Drive through the neighbourhood on a week night - Most people view homes during the day when many of the neighbours are at work. On a weekday evening, you will be able to experience the true lay of the land. Keep your ears peeled for loud music and incessant dog barking;
• Walk the 'hood during rush hour - covering more than just your intended block. Look at the general state of repair of homes and gardens in the area. Chat to any neighbours and local shopkeepers you encounter on the way;
• Take a cyber-tour - on 'Google Street View' to check out the area from an angle you would never normally see. Zoom in on empty lots and back gardens that look like panel beater shops or rubbish dumps.

Geffen advises that once you have moved into your new home, it's usually helpful to avert possible problems in the future and the best way to do so is through communication.

"Remember that neighbourliness works both ways and the best place to start is by being a good neighbour yourself," advises Geffen.

"Make an effort to meet them so that you are on friendly speaking terms at least. You don't have to become best friends, just to know them well enough to be able to pop over and borrow a cup of sugar or for them to let you know if they notice you left your garage door open.

"This way you are usually easily able to head off problems before they have a chance to become problems. For instance, let them know if you are throwing a party and, if appropriate, invite them too and chances are they will return the favour.

"If the noise escalates or there is another problem, your neighbour will almost certainly call you instead of the police."

However, sometimes despite one's best efforts, neighbours may still turn out to be problematic and lacking in consideration and you will have to try and resolve the issue before it boils over into a costly court battle - or criminal record.

"Your course of action should always depend on the level of annoyance your neighbour causes," says Geffen, "so try and act as soon as possible and always start with a friendly approach, only resorting to more drastic measures if nothing else seems to be working."

There are several productive steps once should take in an effort to resolve a problem before it escalates to the point of becoming a costly legal battle:

Make sure there really is a problem - There's a considerable difference between a neighbour who causes an occasional annoyance with his monthly family braai and one who consistently interferes with your quality of life.

Document the problem - You don't want to cause WW3 over what could be a once-off occurrence, so when an issue comes up, start keeping a note of times and dates and take photos if necessary. This way you can evaluate the problem objectively and will have back-up when you confront your neighbour and, if it comes to it, when you take legal advice.

Take time to cool off - Don't storm over in a rage to confront your neighbour in the heat of the moment as we are definitely not our best selves when angry and are unlikely to reach any type of resolution through a screaming match.

Talk it out - Tell the neighbour what's bothering you in an open and honest way. They may not even realise there is a problem and you don't want to unnecessarily make an enemy of your neighbour by being rude or passive-aggressive. Stay calm and positive, even if they get a bit hot under the collar.

Check with other neighbours - Determine if they are experiencing any issues with the same neighbour. If it's a problem for them too, they may be willing to side with you and help resolve the issue.

Go over their heads - If you're part of a homeowner's association or body corporate, bring the problem to their attentions and see if they can resolve it more easily than you can. If it's a rented property, you could also contact the landlord for assistance.

Geffen concludes: "There's no reason to suffer in silence if you have an issue with one of your neighbours, but remember that many neighbour disputes that end up in court, do so through poor communication.

"Keep your eye on the end goal and bear in mind that if you approach the matter from a place of politeness and respect, you can usually find a solution without things get messy."